ONE FROM THE PONTIFF ?

A small town’s only barber was known for his arrogant, negative attitude. When one of his customers mentioned he would be going to Rome on holiday and hoped to meet the Pope, the barber’s reaction was typical. “You?” he said, “Meet the Pope? Don’t make me laugh! The Pope sees kings and presidents. What would he want you for?

A month later, the man returned for another haircut.. “How was Rome?” asked the barber.

“Great! I saw the Pope!”

“From St. Peter’s Square, I suppose, with the rest of the crowd,” said the barber.

“Yes, but then two guards came up, said the Pope wanted to meet me, and took me right into his private apartment in the Vatican.”

“Really?” the barber asked. “What did he say?”

“He said, ‘who gave you that lousy haircut?’ “

EMBARRASSING LIE !

A preacher was asked to give a talk at a women’s health symposium. His wife asked about the topic, but he was too embarrassed to admit that he had been asked to speak about sex. Thinking quickly, he replied, “I am going to talk about sailing.”

The next day, at the supermarket, a young woman who had attended the lecture recognized the preacher’s wife. “That was certainly an excellent talk your husband gave yesterday,” she said. “He really has a unique perspective on the subject.”

Somewhat surprised, the preacher’s wife replied, “Funny you should think so. I mean he’s only done it twice. The first time he threw up, and the second time, his hat blew off.”